(2) A Short Chapter Of...

... I always told myself everything was ok, but on the outside sometimes i couldnt prevent the sadness the leak through. My mom acted as if nothing were wrong, that it was somehow "all his fault." I knew it took BOTH OF THEM! As the weeks, that felt like years passed by, i felt as if i were drowning in quicksand. No matter how hard i kicked and screamed it was only getting worse. Pretty soon, my mom was seeing someone else and my dad was no longer to see us at OUR house. I have never seen my dad in such a helplessness state. His eyes were always swollen, as if he;d been crying none stop, and he was very confine. He was in his own little world that kept him from reality. As he tried to get my mom back she refused to given, for she had already made up her mind. Refusal to try made me realize this was NOT him who ruined her love, but her own temptation. to be continued...

The First Time.. TODAY!

Usually I would call brian before my seventh period class, however, i had to take a picture for winning most athletic (yaaayyy lol) after that i went back to PE and i was unable to contact; my love. After school i needed to go to monavista so i could watch film for basketball and on my way over there it was crammed so i could text him :( then i finally get my phone to call him and he starts calling me. I answered shockingly surprised. he sounds dull and disappointed that i answered. I asked if he were ok and he utterly gave short answers. I felt so horrible in not calling him. then he told me that he would let me go and said bye, and for the first time my heart stopped. I said with as much breath as i had left..."i love you too...?" and all of a sudden my heart started pounding pushing blood through my veins so fast i felt myslef getting hotter and it made me angry! how could he have the nerve! and then i settled myself down and begain to look at the full picture..there were two sides of the story and i understood him having a bad day and me not being there. so we talked it over and said our sorries. Over 7 months that was the first time ever gettitng "kinda" mad at him.. yaaay we've conquered our first KINDA fight lol man i love him:)

A Short Chapter Of..

Through my window, in shines a glorous gold stream of sunlight. I wish i could smile, but the circumstances prevented me. I usually always woke up this way; Repelled by everything, yet on the outside so estatic. On memory lane, my family will forever be remembered, they are not lost, yet broken. Staying inside MY house, without him, was almost dreadful. I would have never thought to see my parents in such discust, hate, and resentment for each other. I could remember the great days, in the afternoon, all of my us sitting around the TV laughing, combined in a single smile. As the middle child I was forced to be torn in two. I couldnt remember the last time I TRUELY laughed... To be continued

Who would have thought? love AND snow!!

After an amazing church service, My boyfriend and I decided that the mountains looked WAY too gorgeous to pass up! Instead of going by ourselves, we invited his family. Although only his sister and dad were the only ones to go, we were still excited! This had been the first REAL "adventure" trip with his family. I was so overwhelmed i did not know how to act. With the semi long drive up there i was trying to replay what it was exactly i was going to behave like. As soon as we arrived i blanked. (lol typical) So i just took my camera and headed out of the car. As soon as we got out, him and his family started the traditional snowball fight. With the laughs and the Family warmth enviorment I started to let go of all my insecurities. It felt so inviggerating to finally feel this "family" feel again. I havent felt this in so long. I could feel my heart fall back in love with not just him, but his family as well. As the moments went on, I watched as Brians dad tried to tackle him in the snow, and Erin as she made her own snow slide that made you go "sooo fast" ( lol NOT). My favorite is watching our smiles never leave our faces.

By the end we were all soaked and decided to end our snow trip. I have never had a better snow trip expierence in my life. With all the laughs, games, tricks, and love i could not have asked for anything more.

The Love of Trying Something New

So i was inferrred to this website by THE Anna Griggs. I can not wait to share my thoughts, poems, and great times. I am not very knowledgible about this site but im going to learn :) Hopefully.